It's Not Just My Weight That Needs To Change

For the past  30 years, I have been struggling with my weight - that's no secret.  But for the past few years, there has been another equally difficult struggle going on inside me - I am not happy with the career path I've chosen, and I don't know what to do about it.  I make excellent money, and my employer provides great benefits (although they could definitely improve on our vacation allowance!).  I've had the rare opportunity to travel extensively as part of my job, including spending a significant amount of time in London (which is quite possibly the best city on the planet, IMHO).  Overall, I am very well taken care of.  And to top it all off, the job I do directly benefits cancer patients.  I am so unhappy with my job that all of these wonderful perks are no longer enough to make me look forward to going to work every day.  I have 20+ years ahead of me until retirement - do I really want to spend a third of that time miserable and unfulfilled?  

I won't go into the details of why I'm so unhappy with my job, lets just say I have my reasons and that finding a similar job with another employer isn't the answer.  Been there, done that.  It's over, I'm ready to quit.

But without a backup plan, how will I pay for food, the mortgage, utilities, not to mention a little pampering now and then?  My husband has a great job that he loves (or at least he's happier than I am right now) and could probably support us both, but without any children to take care of, I can't really justify becoming a stay-at-home...wife.  I need to bring home some bucks and contribute to our lifestyle.  I need a decent job, one that doesn't make me want to drive a fork into my eyes as soon as I sit down at my desk (that's an overstatement, of course - maybe a plastic spoon, but never a fork).

I think this internal conflict has been subconsciously contributing to my weight problem for quite some time - I'm unhappy at work but I can't just up and quit my job, so I eat to dull myself to the problem.  Frustrating meeting?  Stop at the vending machine on the way back to my desk.  Hate your new work assignment?  Pick up a pizza and a 6-pack on the way home from work.  Have to spend a week away from home for work?  Eat out every night and order high calorie food - you'll get back on track when you get home.  You get the picture.  Only now that I'm not using food as a coping mechanism, all of the things about my job that I've been ignoring can no longer be swept under the proverbial rug.

The solution?  Ideally, find a new mode of employment...one that I find fulfilling and exciting...one that doesn't make me overeat every day just to keep from losing my mind...and one that will also pay the bills with a little left over for fun.  But just like weight loss, I can't expect it to happen overnight.  I have some ideas, most of which will take awhile to come to fruition.  So in the meantime, I need to learn some new coping mechanisms to keep me sane and stress-free.

Any suggestions?