Knee High Boots

I have ached for a pair of knee-high black leather boots for quite some time.  But alas, after I passed the 200 pound mark many, many moons ago, this dream faded into the background.  For those of you with have no idea what I'm talking about...well, knee high boots are made with standard-sized shafts (the part that covers your leg from the ankle to the knee).  Unfortunately, nature is not selective with her fat deposits and many overweight women have large calves - knee-high boots won't zip past our ankles.  Sigh.  I really love shoes, partly because I can actually walk into any store and pick out a pair of designer shoes that fits perfectly (this is absolutely not the case with clothing, but that's a rant for another day).  Not being able to have the boots of my dreams is a source of frustration for me.  Recently, however, I discovered that some boots are offered with wider calves - and that Zappos has a wide (no pun intended) selection.  Yippee!  Problem solved!  I particularly love Zappos because they offer free shipping, coming and going.  This means you can order as many shoes as you want, in multiple sizes, and it won't cost you any extra cash.  Then you can try the shoes on with everything in your closet, wear them around the house for awhile and really get a sense of whether they will work for you.

But I digress.  Earlier this week I ordered 7 pairs of 'wide shaft' boots and they arrived last night.  I tried them all on and.........dammit!  My calves are STILL too big!  There was one pair that did fit, however the back of the boot was made of this coarse stretchy material that looked really ugly - fine if I was wearing pants over the boots, but I also want to wear them with skirts.  Sigh again.

So all the lovely boots are going back, and some of them were incredibly lovely.  Which brings me to the ultimate point of this post - there are so many things that I literally can't do or have because I'm too fat!  Not because I'm too self-conscious, or because I need to build up the strength, but things that are physically impossible for me.  Here is my top 5 list (in no particular order):

1. Crossing my legs
   
2. Finding knee-high boots that don't look orthopedic
3. Walking into a designer store - and walking out with something besides shoes, a purse or a scarf
4. Doing unassisted chin-ups (some of you might say this is something I could do if I built up the strength, but c'mon - I would have to be Arnold Schwarzenegger to lift my current body weight)
5. Wearing my wedding ring and engagement ring at the same time without cutting off my circulation
   

For those of you with weight to lose - what's on your list?