Results of the Hunger Experiment

I'm happy to report that last night's hunger experiment went very well - I didn't eat anything for the rest of the night, my hunger died down to a tolerable level and most importantly...the world did not end.  In fact, about an hour after I wrote the post last night I'd completely forgotten about food because I got wrapped up watching the latest episode of Biggest Loser. 

The Beck Diet has quite a few experiments designed to help dieters learn new ways of thinking.  I'm planning to try most of them out - I'll post about the results as I work my way through them.

Experimenting With Hunger

In her book, The Complete Beck Diet For Life, Dr. Beck writes that you shouldn't eat unless you're experiencing true hunger pangs, and she feels that most Americans don't know what true hunger feels like.  I know I don't - I've always had trouble with this skill.  For example, last night I planned out all my food for today and have eaten everything according to plan.  I had a healthy breakfast and lunch, and just finished a very satisfying 650-calorie dinner about 45 minutes ago.  But I still feel kinda hungry, like I need to eat something else.  Sitting here, I'm mentally reviewing what's in the fridge, trying to decide how many calories I can eat to make the hungry feeling go away without doing too much damage to my daily total.  The urge to make the hunger go away is so automatic that my brain keeps returning to the thought "you're hungry, go get something to eat" about every 90 seconds.  I just can't stomach the thought of being hungry - it makes me feel uncomfortable emotionally as well as physically.  And I do NOT like being uncomfortable!

In Dr. Beck's words, "Being hungry is not an emergency."  And my logical thinking brain knows that it's not, that I'm obviously in no danger of starving.  Hell, I have 451,535* calories stored on my body as fat - that's got to be enough to get me through at least one evening without food, right?  So why do I feel a bit panicky at the thought of not eating and feeling hungry all night?  Do I need to run a marathon tonight?  No.  Am I Scarlett O'Hara (as God is my witness...), rebuilding my plantation after it was destroyed by the Yankees?  No.  But deep down inside...and I really think this is the root of the issue...I equate hunger with being unfulfilled.  And rather than take the time to find out what I really need, I take the easy way out and stuff the feelings down with food, rather than experience and deal with them. 

I could always drink a glass of water to make the hungry feeling go away, but I think this evening I'm going to feel the hunger, and prove to myself that the world won't end if I'm not fed.  I've never been one to just sit with a feeling, physical or emotional, and just experience it.  Not try to change it, fix it, make it better or worse - just experience it.  So tonight I'm going to do just that - I have a quiet evening planned at home, by myself.  I'm just going to putter around the house, maybe read, maybe do some housework, and just be hungry.

FYI - Jen at PriorFatGirl.com has a great discussion going today on this very topic - check out the action here.

*The reason I know the exact number?  I had my body fat checked yesterday.  Ouch.  But that's another post entirely.

The Beck Diet

For the past several days I've been reading The Complete Beck Diet For Life and really enjoying it - Judith Beck is a cognitive behavioral therapist specializing in weight issues, and in this book she provides excellent techniques for changing thought patterns.  Today I was delighted to see the Beck Diet Newsletter pop up in my email box.  I urge you to give it a read, because it provides some good food for thought as well as a flavor of what's in the book.  Hmmm, does anyone else notice how many food-related descriptors I use...

In the newsletter she writes about the idea of 'strengthening your giving-in muscle' every time you eat something that wasn't in your food plan for the day.  In other words, you are actively reinforcing a bad habit when you give in to the candy dish on your coworker's desk - in the same way you are reinforcing a good habit when you follow your plan to have a piece of fruit for a snack instead of a candy bar.  I love this concept!

I also strongly identified with the story about Laura, because I've been there all too often - my carefully crafted plan is derailed due to circumstances beyond my control and I turn into a deer caught in the headlights, hesitating for the briefest moment...and instead of heading back into the woods I jump right in front of the oncoming car.  I always feel a twinge of panic when my original food plan needs to change - and I often end up using the situation as an excuse to eat something I know I shouldn't.  Why?  If I've chosen to include something in my daily food plan it's because I think it will satisfy me.  Deviating from that plan means that I might not enjoy the alternative...and the thought of not getting emotional or physical satisfaction from my food scares me.  Not sure why that is, but it's the honest truth and it's something I need to work on.  There's always another meal, always another snack but sometimes I find that hard to remember.

I guess what I really took away from Laura's story is that it's important to plan for success - but even more important to be prepared for the unexpected and make sure these events don't derail the overall course of your journey AND your ability to enjoy that journey.

Anyway, the book expands on all the concepts in the newsletter, and provides training on many other skills to help you handle situations where a choice is needed.  So far I've learned a lot and I'm getting ready to move into Stage 1, where you begin to document your practice of the various skills - including things like daily motivation, distractions from craving, and rehearsed answers for sabotaging thoughts such as "It isn't fair, other people eat whatever they want".  There is a lot of writing and daily homework to keep you focused on learning new behaviors, which is critical to success for someone like me - I am a creature of habit and it takes A LOT to make me change my ways.

If you want to join an online discussion group about this book, share your experiences, or just hear what others are saying, check out the first assignment (pages 1-50) here at PriorFatGirl.com.

Happy reading!

Breakthrough

After lunch today I was hit with a strong craving for chocolate cake.  I thought about the food I had left in my lunch bag (4 clementines and a banana) and then thought about the spare change in my wallet (vending machine run, perhaps?).  What was going to satisfy this craving?  Or what if I just tried to figure out what I was really craving?  Was chocolate cake going to do the job (and just for the record I was envisioning an enormous slice of the cake they serve at Macaroni Grill...moist, warm and drenched in hot fudge, mmmmmmm) or did I need something else?  I decided to eat a couple clementines and wander over to Jenn's cube for a chat.  We talked about chocolate cake, and diets in general, and the conversation meandered around for a bit.  I ate both clementines.  And then the most remarkable thing happened - I really wasn't interested in cake anymore.  Perhaps my craving was for a distraction from my work, rather than food?   I think I may have just successfully done what all the diet books tell you to do...redirect yourself when you are craving something unhealthy.  This may not seem like much, but I am so used to giving in to my cravings that riding one out is truly a foreign concept to me.  Judith Beck describes giving in to a craving as 'strengthening your giving-in muscle' and suggests that each time you are faced with a choice you need to decide which muscle you're going to strengthen - the giving-in one or the willpower one.  I know which one I chose today!

BTW, I started reading the Complete Beck Diet for Life and I'm really impressed.  Jen over at Prior Fat Girl started a book club to discuss it - check out the action here.

Now back to work...