Cookies in the House

We have cookies in the house.  Beautiful tiny shortbread hearts, dipped in chocolate.  Yum.  They joined us last Tuesday night, straight from Whole Foods, and they are flaky and buttery and pretty much perfection itself.  But strangely enough, there are still several left.  I'm not sure what to say about that...this is completely unprecedented territory for me.  Normally they would have been gone in at least 48 hours, and there is just NO WAY they ever would have survived a weekend with me at home.  But instead of eating the whole package as a snack, I've eaten just one cookie per day, right after dinner.  Three bites to savor, and that's it.  I am stunned, amazed and proud of myself beyond belief.

And did I mention the gourmet organic milk chocolate?  It remains on the counter, unopened and ignored since Tuesday night.  It's there for me when I'm ready.  Again, speechless but proud.

The hunger experiments went well this weekend - I managed to eat 3 meals and a snack on both Saturday and Sunday and went hungry in between.  I kept myself busy by organizing things around the house, cleaning, moving furniture, posting things on Freecycle, reading, blogging, watching movies, exercising...anything but eating.  I went to bed a little hungry last night, and woke up hungry this morning.  And strangely enough, I'm starting to like feeling a bit hungry - it reminds me that my body is actively seeking other sources of energy: FAT!

Of course, riding out the hunger at home which is essentially a stress-free zone is one thing, but trying this out at work will be a new challenge.  I'm glad I practiced for a few days before going pro.  I'll check back in tonight to let y'all know how things went today!

Results of the Hunger Experiment

I'm happy to report that last night's hunger experiment went very well - I didn't eat anything for the rest of the night, my hunger died down to a tolerable level and most importantly...the world did not end.  In fact, about an hour after I wrote the post last night I'd completely forgotten about food because I got wrapped up watching the latest episode of Biggest Loser. 

The Beck Diet has quite a few experiments designed to help dieters learn new ways of thinking.  I'm planning to try most of them out - I'll post about the results as I work my way through them.

Experimenting With Hunger

In her book, The Complete Beck Diet For Life, Dr. Beck writes that you shouldn't eat unless you're experiencing true hunger pangs, and she feels that most Americans don't know what true hunger feels like.  I know I don't - I've always had trouble with this skill.  For example, last night I planned out all my food for today and have eaten everything according to plan.  I had a healthy breakfast and lunch, and just finished a very satisfying 650-calorie dinner about 45 minutes ago.  But I still feel kinda hungry, like I need to eat something else.  Sitting here, I'm mentally reviewing what's in the fridge, trying to decide how many calories I can eat to make the hungry feeling go away without doing too much damage to my daily total.  The urge to make the hunger go away is so automatic that my brain keeps returning to the thought "you're hungry, go get something to eat" about every 90 seconds.  I just can't stomach the thought of being hungry - it makes me feel uncomfortable emotionally as well as physically.  And I do NOT like being uncomfortable!

In Dr. Beck's words, "Being hungry is not an emergency."  And my logical thinking brain knows that it's not, that I'm obviously in no danger of starving.  Hell, I have 451,535* calories stored on my body as fat - that's got to be enough to get me through at least one evening without food, right?  So why do I feel a bit panicky at the thought of not eating and feeling hungry all night?  Do I need to run a marathon tonight?  No.  Am I Scarlett O'Hara (as God is my witness...), rebuilding my plantation after it was destroyed by the Yankees?  No.  But deep down inside...and I really think this is the root of the issue...I equate hunger with being unfulfilled.  And rather than take the time to find out what I really need, I take the easy way out and stuff the feelings down with food, rather than experience and deal with them. 

I could always drink a glass of water to make the hungry feeling go away, but I think this evening I'm going to feel the hunger, and prove to myself that the world won't end if I'm not fed.  I've never been one to just sit with a feeling, physical or emotional, and just experience it.  Not try to change it, fix it, make it better or worse - just experience it.  So tonight I'm going to do just that - I have a quiet evening planned at home, by myself.  I'm just going to putter around the house, maybe read, maybe do some housework, and just be hungry.

FYI - Jen at PriorFatGirl.com has a great discussion going today on this very topic - check out the action here.

*The reason I know the exact number?  I had my body fat checked yesterday.  Ouch.  But that's another post entirely.

The Beck Diet

For the past several days I've been reading The Complete Beck Diet For Life and really enjoying it - Judith Beck is a cognitive behavioral therapist specializing in weight issues, and in this book she provides excellent techniques for changing thought patterns.  Today I was delighted to see the Beck Diet Newsletter pop up in my email box.  I urge you to give it a read, because it provides some good food for thought as well as a flavor of what's in the book.  Hmmm, does anyone else notice how many food-related descriptors I use...

In the newsletter she writes about the idea of 'strengthening your giving-in muscle' every time you eat something that wasn't in your food plan for the day.  In other words, you are actively reinforcing a bad habit when you give in to the candy dish on your coworker's desk - in the same way you are reinforcing a good habit when you follow your plan to have a piece of fruit for a snack instead of a candy bar.  I love this concept!

I also strongly identified with the story about Laura, because I've been there all too often - my carefully crafted plan is derailed due to circumstances beyond my control and I turn into a deer caught in the headlights, hesitating for the briefest moment...and instead of heading back into the woods I jump right in front of the oncoming car.  I always feel a twinge of panic when my original food plan needs to change - and I often end up using the situation as an excuse to eat something I know I shouldn't.  Why?  If I've chosen to include something in my daily food plan it's because I think it will satisfy me.  Deviating from that plan means that I might not enjoy the alternative...and the thought of not getting emotional or physical satisfaction from my food scares me.  Not sure why that is, but it's the honest truth and it's something I need to work on.  There's always another meal, always another snack but sometimes I find that hard to remember.

I guess what I really took away from Laura's story is that it's important to plan for success - but even more important to be prepared for the unexpected and make sure these events don't derail the overall course of your journey AND your ability to enjoy that journey.

Anyway, the book expands on all the concepts in the newsletter, and provides training on many other skills to help you handle situations where a choice is needed.  So far I've learned a lot and I'm getting ready to move into Stage 1, where you begin to document your practice of the various skills - including things like daily motivation, distractions from craving, and rehearsed answers for sabotaging thoughts such as "It isn't fair, other people eat whatever they want".  There is a lot of writing and daily homework to keep you focused on learning new behaviors, which is critical to success for someone like me - I am a creature of habit and it takes A LOT to make me change my ways.

If you want to join an online discussion group about this book, share your experiences, or just hear what others are saying, check out the first assignment (pages 1-50) here at PriorFatGirl.com.

Happy reading!

Breakthrough

After lunch today I was hit with a strong craving for chocolate cake.  I thought about the food I had left in my lunch bag (4 clementines and a banana) and then thought about the spare change in my wallet (vending machine run, perhaps?).  What was going to satisfy this craving?  Or what if I just tried to figure out what I was really craving?  Was chocolate cake going to do the job (and just for the record I was envisioning an enormous slice of the cake they serve at Macaroni Grill...moist, warm and drenched in hot fudge, mmmmmmm) or did I need something else?  I decided to eat a couple clementines and wander over to Jenn's cube for a chat.  We talked about chocolate cake, and diets in general, and the conversation meandered around for a bit.  I ate both clementines.  And then the most remarkable thing happened - I really wasn't interested in cake anymore.  Perhaps my craving was for a distraction from my work, rather than food?   I think I may have just successfully done what all the diet books tell you to do...redirect yourself when you are craving something unhealthy.  This may not seem like much, but I am so used to giving in to my cravings that riding one out is truly a foreign concept to me.  Judith Beck describes giving in to a craving as 'strengthening your giving-in muscle' and suggests that each time you are faced with a choice you need to decide which muscle you're going to strengthen - the giving-in one or the willpower one.  I know which one I chose today!

BTW, I started reading the Complete Beck Diet for Life and I'm really impressed.  Jen over at Prior Fat Girl started a book club to discuss it - check out the action here.

Now back to work...

More Favorite Fitness Things!

I can't believe I left 2 critical things off my list!  Here they are, making the list an even 10:

9. The mall.  Any mall will do, but of course my favorite is the King of Prussia Mall, which is enormous and contains lots of lovely stores.  The reason the mall is so critical to my fitness program is that it allows me to get activity over and above my normal workouts (or even instead of a workout if I'm taking a rest day).  Although it doesn't burn calories at the rate of a cardio workout (unless you're sprinting to get the last Zhu Zhu at a Black Friday sale), a few hours of walking around the mall will burn a few hundred calories, especially if you make a point of taking the stairs frequently.  And of course I love to window-shop so perusing the mall feels like self-indulgence rather than a chore.  It's not weather dependent, either!  Try it sometime - especially if you feel like eating when you're not really hungry - redirecting your attention to something fun can often head off a binge at the pass.  And the mall will definitely be in my arsenal of tools this holiday season - to counteract extra calories from Christmas lunches, holiday parties and the inevitable office full of baked goods, I'm going to go Christmas shopping for hours on end!

Please note, however, that you need to make sure you don't replace the urge to binge on food with an urge to shop til you drop (even though carrying packages around the mall might burn a few extra calories) - or you'll just be trading one unhealthy habit for another.  I almost fell into that trap on a Very Active Day and had to make a hasty exit! 

10. The Biggest Loser.  When this show first came on the air it was really more like guilty pleasure TV, but over the years this show has turned into so much more.  I'm always amazed each season by just how much the contestants are capable of.  At 400+ pounds, it seems an insurmountable challenge to lose a significant amount of weight, but these folks dig deep within and learn to love themselves and take care of their health.  Seeing someone succeed who started with the cards stacked so steeply against them is just about one of the most motivational things I can imagine.  It reminds me that anything is possible if you're willing to work for it.   And when the show is between seasons I even watch episodes from prior seasons (if you're wondering how I get the old episodes, whenever I see a Biggest Loser Marathon on a cable channel I DVR them to use for emergencies - but I think you can also get them on Netflix).

And speaking of Netflix - I put Yoga: Just My Size with Megan Garcia in my queue and it came in the mail today.  Yippee!  I mentioned this DVD a couple days ago as I heard it was a good choice for overweight people who want to start a yoga practice.  I'm going to try it out and post a review this weekend so make sure you check back here in a couple days to get the scoop!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite (Fitness) Things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...bright copper ket....oh wait, that's someone else's list of favorite things!  

The list below contains a few things that I really rely on to keep me eating healthy, working out regularly and just generally motivated to keep making those lifestyle changes.  I thought I'd share them with you, and hopefully you'll have some to share as well - please feel free to post a comment!

In no particular order:

1. The Perfect Recipe for Losing Weight and Eating Great, an awesome cookbook by Pam Anderson.  Check out her recipe for mini-pumpkin muffins - I LOVELOVELOVE these yummy little muffins and frequently have 2 of them for breakfast with my morning latte.  I usually skip the orange glaze and sprinkle a few mini chocolate chips on top of each one a few minutes before I take them out of the oven - the calories are similar and I love the combo of pumpkin and chocolate.
2. My iPOD.  I'm honestly not sure if I could work out on my own without this thing - having all of my favorite workout music at my fingertips means I can make the most of every workout.  
3. Audiobooks!  When I was training for the 3-Day, many of my training walks were several hours long.  Although I did quite a few walks with my teammates, there were some that I did on my own.  These walks were also at a slower pace as I was building muscle endurance rather than cardio endurance, so motivational music wasn't all that necessary.  Listening to an audiobook felt like someone was walking along with me, telling me a story!  Some of my recent favorites include Eat Pray Love, Middlesex, Pretty in Plaid and The Help, all of which were downloaded directly to my iPod for a reasonable fee from Audible.com. 
4. Enell sports bras.  Even when I was at a nice healthy weight in high school, I was blessed with cleavage.  Fast forward 125 pounds and you can imagine just how...ummm...even more blessed(?) I am now.   Now think of how painful those blessings are when you are working out.  Fortunately, I came upon the Enell sports bra, which basically renders your chest motionless even during high impact activities like running or even jumping jacks.  They are pricey, but very well made and definitely worth the investment.
5. The Daily Plate on Livestrong.  This website allows you to track your food, weight and daily activity, and has an unbelievable list of foods from which to choose.  You enter your weight loss goals and the website provides an appropriate calorie target which you can supplement with exercise.  And as your weight decreases, your daily target decreases!  You can also generate reports and graphs of your daily intake and overall progress.  In addition to all that great personal stuff, you can form groups to share your 'plate' with friends to help keep each other motivated!  There are message boards and lots of informative articles about all aspects of fitness.  It's a great way to track your food, keep motivated and also learn a few things.
6. The internet.  Seriously, I search the internet daily for information about fitness, for like-minded people who blog about their experiences, and just for general information.  There are a ton of great podcasts & downloadable workouts out there (YogaJournal.com has some amazing yoga videos that you can stream absolutely free).  All of the major fitness and health magazines have websites with lots of articles as well as info that's not in the printed magazine, and at CookingLight.com you can get virtually all of the magazines recipes for free - with user reviews and a place to add your own personal notes.  And of course blogging has really helped me keep on track!
7. Wigwam Cool-Lite Pro socks.  These socks are blister-resistant (and believe me, when you walk 18 miles in one day without a single blister, you know the socks have something to do with it), cushy and durable!  They stand up to lots of abuse without showing any signs of wear.  I absolutely love them! 
8. My Wii!!!  There are so many great fitness games that you can get to go with the Wii - including the Wii Fit.  But honestly, my favorite is just the plain old tennis game that comes with the game console!  You're not going to get in killer shape using the Wii, but it will get you off the couch, having fun, and burning a few extra calories. 

So there you have it, my list of must-have fitness accessories and tools to keep me motivated and on track.  What's on your list?

Squeeze It In!

I sit at a desk all day, either on the phone or computer, often both.  Most days, I can feel my butt getting mushier with each passing minute.  Sometimes I stand up while I'm on the phone, hop from one foot to another, or try to pace around the 4x4 space as best I can.  But now....

I can SQUEEZE IT IN!

www.squeezeitin.com is a really cool website - with photos and videos - to show you how to fit exercise into your daily life.  Here's a quote from the site:

"SqueezeItIn.com is a whole new way to think about exercise. With SqueezeItIn.com every chore, every errand, everything you do is an opportunity to get firmer, slimmer, stronger. Missing a day at the gym doesn’t have to mean missing a workout when you learn how to SqueezeItIn.com."


There are exercises you can do while you're in the car, cooking dinner, on the playground, and best of all, while you're at work!  Here are a couple of my favorites that are great when you're on the phone for long periods of time:  Squeeze Backs & Countertop Pushups.
  
I came up with my own exercise - I call it "Sitting On Air Instead Of Your Chair":

This move is basically just a wall sit.  Find a wall (a solid wall, not a cubicle wall, and preferably not in a high traffic area), lean your back against the wall, and slide down until your thighs are parallel to the floor and your knees are at a 90 degree angle.  Hold til it burns!  Stand up, shake it out, repeat a few times until it's time to go back to work.  Hmmm...I might need to write to the Squeeze It In folks to suggest this one!

NOTE: One thing that really helps if you're a desk jockey is to invest in an inexpensive wireless headset for your desk phone, which keeps your hands free to do other things, like Pushing Paper.  Unfortunately, it also makes you look a bit like a telemarketer...

Walk this way

One of the benefits of working for a ginormous pharmaceutical company is the concern they have for employee health.  We have numerous fitness perks - within a 5 minute walk of my building there are volleyball courts, tennis courts, an outdoor track and even weight watchers meetings.  The latest is a 'walkstation' which is exactly what it sounds like - a work station where you can walk.  It is essentially a treadmill with a desk, but it is also set up with a laptop docking station, phone, monitor, mouse and keyboard so you can actually work while you're walking.  The max speed is 2 mph to assure safety, the desk height is adjustable, and the walkstations are located in private conference rooms so you can use a speakerphone rather than hold the receiver to your ear.

Behold:

Today I had a couple of teleconferences scheduled first thing in the morning, so I thought I'd give the walkstation a whirl.  It took a few minutes to figure out how to get everything up and running, but once I got my computer fired up and the desk height adjusted, everything fell into place.  In addition to the tc's I had scheduled, I wanted to bang out a couple memos and read some documents, so I tried all 3 activities during the 45 minutes I was walking.  Here's the report:

1. You cannot type accurately at 2 mph - the best speed for that activity is about 1 mph
2. I was definitely breathing a bit more rapidly at 2mph than if I was just sitting at my desk. So for teleconferences, 1.5 mph seems to be a better pace (to assure I don't get an unexpected phone call from HR).
3. Reading the computer screen requires neither manual dexterity nor the ability to speak without panting, so 2mph was just right for trolling through long documents.
4. In 45 minutes I walked a little over a mile and burned almost 200 calories, which is about 150 more than I would have burned sitting at my desk.
5. Next time I will not wear itchy wool dress pants.
   

All in all, I give the walkstation 2 hearty thumbs up.  The conference room was really large with a great view of the local landscape and was also well-lit and private.  The treadmill worked great and the adjustable desk height meant that I could stand up straight while working.  It was fun, gave me measurable results on my output and was easy to use.  I booked it again for next Thursday morning!

MBT review

Today I wore my MBT shoes to work.  They are dorky looking:

but are so uber-comfortable that sometimes I wear them to work with jeans.  The soles of the shoes are rounded so that the heels and toes don't touch the ground when you're standing in neutral posture.  This design results in a slightly unstable walking surface, which forces you to engage more of your leg muscles in the act of walking.  To date, I've mainly worn them on level walking surfaces, and have found my posture is greatly improved and my feet feel really good with each step.  I think my ankles are better aligned as well.  There is also a feeling of mild resistance - the closest sensation I can think of is walking in sand.

Anyway, today I wore them on my lunchtime walk with Jenn.  There is a moderate hill right outside the back door of our building, and we took this route to get to the track for our walk.  Whoa, within about 90 seconds my legs were BURNING!!!!  I honestly could not believe just how much more difficult it was to walk uphill in these shoes!  I was really pleased to find out that I can throw on these shoes to give a 20 minute lunchtime walk a nice intensity boost.  And I'll definitely be lacing them up everytime I go to the mall or walk the dog.  Thanks MBT - now you just need to work on making them a bit more business casual and less like freaky bowling shoes...

Watersports

I think that the most challenging piece of triathlon training will be the swim.  Although I was on the swim team for a year in high school, it has been years since I have done more than just splash around in the water.  This past weekend I did 200 yards in the pool at the gym and was so winded that I had to rest after every other lap!  I'll approach this the way I came at the 3-Day training - one step (or stroke) at a time.  First goal, to swim 200 yards without taking a break.  Ultimate goal, to swim 1000 yards at a decent pace.  First step, get back in the pool this weekend and swim some laps!!!

To help motivate me to train, I ordered a fun swim cap: