You Win Some, You Lose Some

My week is almost over, and there have been some victories and some things I could have done better.  On the plus side, I did manage to gracefully decline one group dinner this week and spend the night relaxing and regrouping in my hotel room with a glass of champagne and a healthy dinner.  I skipped ALL snacks this week, skipped the hotel breakfast buffet and didn't take seconds at lunch (except for the day they served these amazing freshly baked cookies.  I had three).  At a minimum each day I got 3 servings of fruit & veg.  In preparation for this week I brought enough homemade granola bars to have one for breakfast each morning along with a banana and coffee from Starbucks.  And I managed to get in one cardio workout on the cool hotel treadmill:

Seriously, if I had an extra $7000, I'd have one of these in my home!

Unfortunately, I couldn't get out of business dinners on Tuesday and Thursday, which meant eating in restaurants that had few healthy options and not knowing the menu ahead of time.  On Tuesday night I did fairly well - although I didn't have low cal options to choose from I kept my portions low (left a third of my dinner on the plate), had a few bites of the group appetizer and a few bites of someone else's dessert.  Last night's dinner ...well, that's a different story.  It was at a microbrewery, and I just sort of gave up.  I had a huge beer, way too many bites of the greasy appetizers and ate every bite of the pulled pork sandwich and fries that I ordered.  It was really yummy and once I started I didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of leaving anything on my plate.  Fortunately we really lingered over dinner so by the time my food was gone I was pretty stuffed and didn't order dessert - this is a definite improvement over past dinners out.

As far as workouts go, I was disappointed that I only worked out once.  We started at 7:30 each morning so I had to be on my way out of the hotel by 7am each day - but if I'm really honest with myself I could have gotten up earlier every morning and done something.  But at least I got one good workout in.

All in all, it could have been better, but it definitely could have been worse.  If the scale has gone up a pound or less tomorrow morning I'll consider this week a win.

This Week's Challenge...

This week I am traveling for work and am somewhat at the mercy of others during two meals per day (I've already decided to opt out of group dinners this week and hit the hotel gym instead).  Yesterday was my first day on the road, and I had a nice lunch at the airport (glass of wine, dark leafy green salad and a very small pork taco with black beans).  Dinner was a cup of miso soup and two sushi rolls.  Lots of water.  No workout, but got a good amount of walking around the airport at both ends.

This morning...well I'm here on my computer staring at the goodie basket thinking 'where can I hide this thing'.  The contents are as follows: 1 can honey roasted peanuts, 1 can salted cashews, 1 can pringles, 1 snickers bar, 1 bag peanut m&ms, 1 bag plain m&ms, 1 package oreos, a package twizzlers and 1 bag goldfish.  Geez, can't a girl get a break???

So far I haven't caved and I feel pretty strong - but I think I'll put them in the closet anyway.  This week's challenge will be leaving the basket intact - I'll report back on Friday night!

Oh - one more thing - I can't wait to work out tonight - they have the coolest treadmills and bikes here - each one has an individual TV screen and an iPod dock!

Today's Workout

15 inches of snow = shoveling + yoga

Baby Steps

Over the past couple weeks my weight has been slowly dropping even though I haven't been closely counting calories - it seems that I'm starting to learn to eat according to my stomach and stop when I'm full.  Last night I had a craving for some comfort food and instead of fighting it I decided to try an experiment with some of my favorite foods.  I picked up a pint of Ben & Jerry's and an Amy's frozen pizza.  Dangerous stuff, I know...you may even want to cover your eyes, because this is horror-movie-suspenseful...

I had an episode of Biggest Loser and the premiere of Lost cued up and ready to go - and while the pizza was baking I opened the carton of ice cream, grabbed a spoon, and headed for my favorite pig-out post, the big blue chair.  I told myself to eat until I didn't want any more, and dug in.  I put the ice cream away when the timer for the pizza went off.  Told myself I could return to the ice cream after pizza, and that I could have as much pizza as I wanted.

The results?  In total, I ate just under two servings of ice cream and only two slices of pizza.  And after the pizza, I just didn't want any more ice cream!  Yes, I ate almost 1200 calories for dinner, which is about twice as much as I would normally eat.  But 1200 calories is much much less than I could have eaten, believe me.  I didn't eat the entire carton of ice cream and I didn't eat the whole pizza!  AND - and this is the best part - I didn't spend the rest of the evening trolling through the kitchen trying to figure out what else I could eat.  I ate until I was not quite full, until I was no longer savoring the taste of either food, and then stopped.  In the past I would have finished both, even if I wasn't really enjoying either and I would have eaten until I felt too full.


The pizza wasn't my normal irresistible pepperoni pizza from Michael's down the street (the best pizza in Philly as far as I'm concerned).  It was a 3-cheese cornmeal crust pizza which didn't taste bad, but didn't have that 'oh my god I can't stop eating this' quality that Michael's pizza has.  Pizza is a definite trigger food for me, so I think choosing one that isn't on my list of absolute favorites helped set me up for success in this experiment.  I'm not quite ready to try this with a large, oily, pepperoni pizza because I don't yet feel like I could stop at just a couple pieces - and that might set off some guilt and a few days of backlash binging.  But I did control myself with the ice cream which is a huge step forward.  And I didn't eat just for the sake of eating. 

Baby steps!

Guest Post

Today I posted on another blog for the first time - I'm so excited!  It's an eco-friendly blog called iecycle.org and I'll be posting on the 3rd of each month about an environmental topic of my choice.  My first post was (of course) about Freecycle, and next month I'll be writing about environmentally-friendly lawn care.  Any suggestions for topics would be greatly appreciated.

Check out this month's post here and enjoy!

It's Not About the Food

Warning...significant navel-gazing in this post...

When I started this 'makeover' project last October, I thought it was all about teaching myself new eating habits, getting healthy, meeting my fitness goals, and understanding why I have such a messed up relationship with food.  I am grateful for the progress towards those very important goals but the farther I get down this path, the more I realize that it's not about the food.  It's really about finding out who I want to be - what kind of friend, wife, sister, citizen - or more accurately what kind of human I want to be - and then becoming that person.  Making choice after choice each day that leads me in the direction of the person I want to be.  Some of those choices will be food-related (do I really want to be the girl that eats 3 brownies for lunch?) but most will not.

I find that as I stop focusing on food every minute of the day, I can instead turn my attention to what I want to do with my life.  I'd like a new career, sure - that's certainly one of the steps towards becoming the best version of myself.  But the larger question is really what impact do I want to have on the world around me?  What am I capable of creating, what heights can I reach?  What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind when I'm gone?  Do I want to be an agent of change, or just let the tides carry me where they may?

I thought my relationship with food was holding me back from achieving my goals, but I was wrong.  I defined myself as a compulsive eater, lazy, someone who has no self control.  But I don't need to define myself that way, I can be whoever I want to be.  We all can.

Nope, it's not about the food.

Be The Change

Well it's Monday morning and I'm up ridiculously early because I woke up at 3:30am and felt wide awake.  I guess that could have something to do with the 2-hour nap I took yesterday as well as the fact that I was asleep by 9pm...but I digress.

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is negativity in the workplace.  I work on a large team, across timezones and oceans, and most of our communication is via telecon, email or instant message.  There is very little face to face contact and as a result, frustration and negativity build up when things don't go well.  A LOT of blaming and complaining goes on behind people's backs and I'm starting to realize that it really brings me down.  It's so much easier to blame someone when you can't see their face and so much easier to say things over instant message that you would never say in person.  In general, I try not to put things in writing that I wouldn't say to someone's face but I do find myself complaining about others quite a bit - letting the overall negativity get into my head and feed on my own insecurities.  I don't want to be a woman who makes herself feel better at the expense of others, because ultimately I think that just makes you feel worse about yourself.  So I'm going to use my extra time this morning to center myself and get ready for the week ahead - a week where I stop complaining about others and about my job and instead try to change the things I can and accept the things I can't.

In the words of Gandhi, "You must be the change you want to see in the world." 

Have a great week everyone!