Be the change you want to see in the world - Ghandi

Be the change you want to see in yourself - Shrinking Jill

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Get Over Yourself

Have you ever felt self conscious?  Perhaps about a specific physical feature, such as your nose, your hair, or your ears?  Think that you can't dance, worry if your butt jiggles when you walk?  Everyone has something about themselves that causes them to obsess - but what happens when that obsession grows to the point where it interferes with your ability to enjoy life?

I have really fat arms (there - I've said it out loud) and usually try to cover them up.  Other parts of my body are just as flabby, but for some reason my arms are a source of torture.  Six months before my wedding, I went dress shopping with my mom and sister, and picked out a gorgeous strapless white dress that we all loved.  I thought I had plenty of time to lose weight and tone my arms.  Alas, that did not happen.  Big surprise - why would I think I'd be able to change decades of habits at one of the most stressful times of my life?  The wedding arrived and of course I had lost nothing - and had no choice but to wear my strapless, sleeveless, nothing-left-to-the-imagination dress.  And guess what - it didn't matter!  I didn't think about my arms at all and had a blast - I felt beautiful and sexy and just like a princess the entire time.  The proof is in the pictures - nobody is staring in horror and in every shot I am glowing with happiness even though my flabby arms are there for all to see - flapping in the wind on the dance floor in all their doughy glory. 

My point is this - so often I let myself miss out on a fun experience because I am self conscious.  For example, I rarely dance in public because I am worried about how I'll look.  As a result, I often end up sitting around at parties watching everyone else have fun.  This is not how I want to live my life.  I want to live like I did at my wedding - having the time of my life, feeling beautiful, and not caring what anyone else thinks.  Because really, nobody has time to worry about what I look like - they are too busy worrying about themselves!  It's time to stop the madness.  For one whole day I will just 'be' - I will not worry that others are judging or thinking negative thoughts about me - when they are most likely wondering if they have food from lunch stuck in their front teeth.  I declare today to be Get Over Yourself Day!  And if I have a chance to dance in public today, I'm gonna do it!



I would love to hear from all of you - what are you self conscious about?  How is it holding you back in life?  What will you do today to get over yourself?

2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

What a beautiful bride you were! I am jealous of your self-confidence, and I wish we were all able to say to ourselves "Screw it - who cares what people think?!"

That's what a few drinks are for, though...Great post!

Kim said...

Very thought-provoking post (and I love seeing the wedding pictures again - it sure was a wonderful evening!)

For me, when it comes to my physical appearance, I have reached a level where (on 95% of days anyway) I am pretty comfortable and accepting of myself exactly as I am. I can honestly say I really don't spend a lot of time identifying or obsessing about flaws, and if I am feeling good, really don't consider (or give a crap) what other people are thinking most of the time.

That said, my obsession issues now seem to have become very much less about being judged on outward appearance, but rather being evaluated on actions and (dare I say it), intelligence, especially with people I don't know very well or in new situations. I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about and reliving all the little things that I've said or screwed up and who might write me off as an idiot because of them. Absolutley nothing is more horrifying to me than to be thought of as stupid. Yes, I badly need to get over myself!! That will be today's goal for me as well.

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